You’re the parent, you can be firm when the situation calls for it. Children actually need consistency and structure to feel secure of Let That Shiitake Go Shirt. I think parents who had a chaotic upbringing need to seek out parenting counseling to help overcome their childhood trauma so they can learn healthy ways to parent.
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No one is suggesting or advocating verbal or physical aggression, except you. I’ve seen the outcome of both and it’s horribly damaging of Let That Shiitake Go Shirt. I was going by what the said, how she put it and it seems she’s trying to be a friend to her child which often results in children growing up confused about boundaries.
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I think the most responsible thing you can do as a parent is to carefully identify your own patterns as you raise your child. Everyone has them, and being a parent is beating yourself every day of Let That Shiitake Go Shirt. I think that smile says everything we need to know. This is such a creative and self-aware way to respond.