I lost my mother to suicide when I was 12; my father to suicide when I was 20. I understand your pain and anguish. I’m not sure that I have completely recovered but I am OK and Hand like Dance to the beat of your own drum Unisex T-Shirt sometimes OK is the best I can be. This would be a very personal journey for you – I offer no recommendations or advice. I can only provide my complete understanding and sympathy. Namaste
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I’m going to do the mom thing: make an appointment to see a therapist. When they ask you why, tell them you need help accessing your emotions. Take what you’ve written here with you and give it to the therapist the minute you see her or him of Hand like Dance to the beat of your own drum Unisex T-Shirt. You’ve been very clear and open with us on this forum. Don’t feel like you need to reinvent the wheel. In my experience, the single hardest thing about therapy is beginning the conversation and being clear about why you’re there. You’ve done the hard part. Now go share it with someone who will help you.